Instagram post with Snapshots from life recently …. Or snapshots from a lack of life …
https://www.instagram.com/p/DFo7bAbsOMm/?igsh=MWY4aGZ0NjByeGRreg==
new tape, PSYCHOFANTASYRAP coming out soon… here’s the art for it … might get a couple collabs on in, would be so happy with it if those work out… a lot of the b side tracks on this had some major production flaws at some moments, a couple of the beats on this are from when I was 15 so that’s 13 years in the fucking vault.. its kind of a tragedy that I never got things out anywhere as close to how fast I finished them, or well however finished anything im capable of making ever is, still, it’s the point, ive been so terrible at releasing projects, marketing, representing myself, for so long, that it no longer even benefits me that much that I’ve been strongly in love with and basically as dedicated as i could manage to be at any given time with my problems, the concept of pursuing art and music as a major life goal, since i was 10. I have failed to integrate it into my life in a way that supports me or helps me. i’ve failed to really give anything meaningful to the world anybody cares about, i’ve failed as an artist and as a person. Everyones empty advice is just a reminder that no matter how many good ideas anyone has, it only exists on the brain storm level, cute ideas are just that for me and no one can genuinely fix the problems that i have or tell me anything that will ultimately get the work i need to do for myself done, and i will never be capable of breaking past the barriers and actually just being functional or be able to accomplish arcs of larger goals. As a basically appearing as straight white guy the concept that ive been long term struggling with massive cryptic and invisible learning disabilities and mental illness isnt something i can use as a defense or let alone a path to any kind of solution, it just makes me look like im making excuses and complaining to my friends family and work environments, no one is there to hold my fucking hand, and whats worse than that is that is why address problems when theres no solution? So that i can beat myself up more than i already with labels for myself? Its healthier at this point to ignore it and pretend im normal and that this is easy for me, and all i am is rude, and lazy
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